Grieving the Loss of your Loved One
Are you suffering from a devastating loss, with the feeling that no one else could understand? First, let us say, we give you our warmest condolences in this time. We do understand the feelings you may be having, as we have loved and lost a loved one very dear to us as well.
The loss of a loved one can be so overwhelming, and your grief may take quite a while to work through for many reasons. Give yourself time. It may take months, and most likely years to fully complete the grieving process. Grief comes and goes in stages.
There are four general stages of grief including; denial, anger, guilt, and acceptance. Although these stages are a great grief support guide, there is no guarantee that you will reach each stage in this order. This process is a little different for everyone, as everyone's experience with losing a loved one is different.
In your own time you will persevere through these four stages of grief. Take the time you need for yourself and don't ever let anyone tell you, you should be over it. There are no time constraints on missing a loved one.
Some people find comfort in a new hobbie or a thrilling new adventure. Others prefer some time to themselves to reflect on their memories with the loved one lost, somewhere they can find peace and serenity. However you choose to grieve and find comfort after a loss is a personal preference, just remember that grieving is completely normal and expected.
Four Stages of Grief
You should know that there is no "wrong" or "right" way to grieve. These four stages serve as a grief support guide for those who could benefit from it during their time of loss.
The first stage of grief is, often, a kind of numbness and shock. It takes time to become accustomed to not having your loved one with you, doing the day-to-day activities to which you've become accustomed. Acknowledging your loss and their absence can be one of the most difficult stages.
Give yourself this time to honor and remember them. By recalling their absence, you confirm your love and can find ways to bear witness to their memory.
Being angry with your loved one's death is the second stage of grieving. Sometimes you're angry with them for leaving you. Sometimes you're angry with "Life" for taking them from you. Your anger can erupt toward family, friends and with those you work, as their living continues, apparently uninterrupted, while you wrangle with your loss.
Questions such as, Did you give enough care? or Was the time you spent together the best you could give? can cause you to feel guilty, generating deep sadness and depression. Since there's no one to give you those answers, you can get mired in a whirlwind of emotions. Take comfort in knowing that your loved one is at peace; and, give yourself some peace, as well.
There may be times when all these emotions are playing with you, seeming to ball up together. There's no one answer how you will, finally, get to the last stage of your grief.
Over time, however, your denial, anger and guilt will be worked through – yes, it takes time, family and friends to learn to live without the daily presence of your loved one. How you come to accept their death is your personal journey – don't let others tell you when you should be "over it." There is no time limit on missing and remembering.
We have compiled a great deal of information to assist after losing a loved one. View our words of sympathy page for more ways to express your feelings. Thank you for reading.